Thursday, April 11, 2013

Dear Diary: Squirting/Female Ejaculations

Dear Diary,

I have a confession to make... I am a squirter. Capable of female ejaculation. And I love it. I wish everyone could experience this powerful rush of sensations for themselves.

The very first time I squirted was a complete accident. I was so incredibly embarrassed and honestly thought I had urinated all over my partner and our bed. He had been fingering me, rather enthusiastically, using a "come hither" motion, with his fingertips rubbing against the front of my vaginal walls. He would bring me to the brink of orgasm then slow his movements until I was begging him for more. I was in a sitting position with my weight on my hands and feet. I distinctly remember the feeling of build-up and pressure from within, and I warned him that I thought I was going to pee. Instead of stopping, like I expected, he renewed his efforts and abandoned any semblance of gentleness. I came so hard while liquid gushed all down my legs, dripped off of his hand, and soaked into our bed. My face immediately got red and I ran to gather up some towels to soak up the mess. Just a few weeks later we were going our separate ways (for reasons unrelated to this incident).

It wasn't until a few years later that I discovered what I had really done and really began to explore the world of squirting. I began by watching a lot of porn featuring squirters. It was just so incredibly hot to see these women in the throes of passion and pleasure as they came all over themselves, their partners, and often, the camera. I researched the phenomena behind female ejaculation and began educating myself. Female ejaculation, or squirting, happens when the g-spot is stimulated to the point of orgasm. The g-spot is the spongy group of cells located behind the pubic bone and before the cervix, about 3 inches or so into the vaginal canal, toward the front of the pelvis. If you are using your fingers, this little area of skin is a bit rougher than the rest of your vaginal cavity. Every woman's anatomy is uniquely theirs, therefore your g-spot may be located a bit closer or further away from the vaginal opening. Don't be afraid or ashamed to go exploring and find out exactly where your g-spot is located. As the blood rushes into the g-spot and it becomes engorged, you may feel pressure build up that feels very similar to a full bladder. Do not worry, this is normal and you will not urinate. Remember to relax, let the feelings and sensations rush over you. Tensing up from fear of urinating can prevent you from enjoying your squirting orgasm. If you are concerned that this may happen to you, I suggest you take the time to use the bathroom before engaging in any play that may lead to a g-spot orgasm. Keep stimulating your g-spot, perhaps adding a little clitoral stimulation, and allow yourself to just let go. A squirting orgasm can be extremely powerful and overwhelming at first. I, personally, have been experiencing squirting orgasms regularly for about 2 and a half years, and I still tear up almost every single time.

Not every woman is capable of experiencing a squirting orgasm, but, if you can, you will never be able to forget the mind blowing sensations. Even if you are capable of having your first squirting orgasm, practice is necessary to be able to find that perfect spot whenever you wish. Don't get discouraged if it takes you many, many sessions to achieve a squirting orgasm. Regardless of your outcome of this little experiment, take this time to re-explore your own body or to reconnect with your partner.

Once I was able to locate and stimulate my g-spot on a regular basis I began to have squirting orgasms almost whenever I wanted. G-spot vibrators and dildos can often be of service to those that have a hard time orgasming from g-spot stimulation. I have a vibrator that I recently purchased from EdenFantasys website. I got the Extase Zenith for a steal but would gladly pay full retail to replace it, should it one day die on me. You can visit Eden and look around. If you find anything you have to have, add it to your cart, snag one of their awesome free gifts, and use code XVR to save 15% on your order.

I want to sign you all a little homework. Go find your (or your partner's)  g-spot. Even without having a squirting orgasm, g-spot stimulation feels amazing and can add to your sexual experience. Then come on back and let me know how it worked out for you. If you have already experienced (giving or receiving) a g-spot orgasm or have squirted, let us know. Feel free to add any tips or tricks that may have worked for you, or share your experience. Happy hunting everyone!

Lustfully Yours,
xo Chastity Darling ox

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Cal Exotics: Colt Anal Trainer Kit

Curious about anal play? Looking for a way to dip your toes in the proverbial water? Not looking to make an investment just yet? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, Cal Exotics Colt series Anal Trainer Kit may be the perfect choice for you.

PACKAGING:

My Colt Anal Training Kit came to me in shrink-wrapped packaging and no box. None. At all. I was very disappointed by this, since Cal Exotics advertises their product with a box. There really isn't much to say about the packaging and it was not reusable, so I just threw it in the recycle bin.



 MATERIAL/TEXTURE:

The Colt Anal Trainer Kit is made completely of PVC rubber. PVC is durable, easy to clean, and comes in a variety of firmness. It is not the most body-safe material, as it does tend to contain phthalates causing some health concerns over long term use. The training plugs are completely smooth with a tapered shape for a more ergonomic fit in the rectum. There is a wide base at the end of each plug to prevent it from slipping inside and getting "lost" in place where sex toys should not be misplaced. 



 SIZE:

This anal training kit come with three different sized plugs to slowly work your way up to taking a larger sized object into your anus. I have several measurements to share, so please bear with me as I try to explain the size differences in these plugs. All of these plugs are tapered with a smaller area for the anal rim to rest around and a wide base to keep the plug from being sucked in too far. The smallest plug has a total length of 4 3/4" with 3 3/4" being insertable. This plug is only 1/4 inch in diameter at the tip and the widest part is just 1 inch in diameter with the anal rim area being a comfortable 3/4 inch in total diameter. The medium sized plug is just a little bit bigger than the smallest one. The total length is 5 1/2 inches with 4 1/2 inches of that being fully insertable. The taper of this plug starts with a tip only 1/2 inch in diameter and widening to 1 1/4 inches at the largest area. The anal rim area is also a comfortable 3/4 inch. The largest upgrade in size comes between the medium and large sized plugs of this set. While the medium is just slightly larger than the small, the large is freaking huge! The total length of the largest plug is 6 1/2 inches with 5 3/4 inches of that being insertable. The tip of this plug starts at just 3/4 inch which isn't too bad, however, it explodes to a full 2 inches at the widest part of the base and the anal rim area is a full 1 1/4 inches. There is such a large difference from the medium to the large that I feel there should be another sized plug between the two. I was unable and unwilling to play with the largest plug, as I felt that even using the medium sized plug, I was not able to warm-up sufficiently to take the large plug without copious amount of pain. I have included a bit of a diagram in the following picture to help visualize the size a bit more accurately...and hopefully to relieve some of the confusion from just text measurements.



 FUNCTION:

Cal Exotics designed this anal training kit to prepare the anus for penetration. There are three plugs of graduating sizes to start you off nice and small and work your way up to the size you wish to be able to insert into your anus. Plugs, unlike anal probes or beads, are meant to acclimate your anal cavity to the fullness of anal penetration, which means that you put them in and leave them in. They are not meant to be thrust in and out, although they can also be used in this manner.

 PERFORMANCE:

I purchased these training plugs to prepare myself for the review of another anal plug that I received for review. I was rather intimidated by the size of the plug that I had received, since I had no real experience with anal play of any kind. When I found the Colt Anal Trainer Kit, I thought that they looked perfect for what I wanted. The smallest plug is perfect for anyone beginning on their anal journey. With a gently tapered shape and a tip of only 1/4 inches, there was absolutely no discomfort with this plug. I found that rubbing the tip around the anal rim and then gently working it into the anus produced the best feeling. I was unable to take the entire things immediately and instead gently pushed it in and pulled it almost completely out until my rectum was ready to insert the entire plug. Once completely seated in the anal cavity, these plugs aren't going anywhere. The base is long, but not too wide to allow it to comfortably site between your butt cheeks. Once I was able to comfortably take the smallest plug, I started to play with the medium sized one. A little more lube and some gently maneuvering and this plug slipped right into place. Having the plugs fully inserted into the rectum gives an incredibly full, but not completely uncomfortable feeling. While inserted, the plug pushed on the wall between my anal cavity and my vagina, which caused my vagina to become much tighter, a definite huge plus for my husband (who has no complaints about the my tightness without the plugs, thank you very much ;) ). I have not even attempted to use the largest plug in this collection. I have no interest in stretching myself that large, at this point, but I like having a larger plug, should I need it in the future.



CLEANING:

The Colt Anal Trainer Kit can be cleaned using warm water and a mild antibacterial soap or a universal toy cleaner. Bleach, boiling, and the dishwasher are not recommended ways to keep your PVC training plugs clean. Be sure to thoroughly clean any anal toys to prevent the build-up of lube or any bacteria on the toy. Remember, a clean toy is a happy toy.

 LUBE:

These PVC training plugs can be used with water or silicone based lubes, with no problem. Personally, I prefer silicone lubricant for anal play, due to its long-lasting, extra slippery, non-drying qualities. I have found that water based lubricants often need to be reapplied, because they dry out and can become sticky during extended periods of play time. I also used some Anal Eaze with these plugs to help ease them in, without my rear clenching tight enough to crush a jaw-breaker. Here is where I need to insert a little educational safety blurb... Anal Eaze is a numbing product that contains benzocaine (the same numbing product in Oragel). The anus is a muscle and needs to be "warmed up," before any playtime, and any numbing agents should be used sparingly, as to not numb so much that injury occurs, without knowledge. Having said that, I do use Anal Eaze myself, but sparingly, and just at my anal opening. This is a temporary product for me to get my body used to having my anus touched, without clenching for no tomorrow. I, personally, have a hard time relaxing for that first touch.



 POSITIVES:

The Cal Exotics Colt Anal Trainer Kit works exactly as it is designed. If all you need a temporary product to get you used to using your new, bigger plug or to prepare for anal sex, then this may be just the ticket for you. The PVC is relatively easy to clean and the pliability makes them easy and comfortable to use. The graduated sizes allow you to work up to your goal size, without spending an arm and a leg. For the price, I find that this a great product but, as always, there are drawbacks to purchasing cheaper products.

NEGATIVES:

I was really disappointed with the quality of these training plugs. They are made of PVC, a common but low rated material on a "body-safe" scale. These plugs cannot be fully sanitized, and as such, they should not be shared between partners, without the use of a condom. Another miscalculation with these plugs is the size differences. The smallest and the medium sized plugs are a gentle size increase, while the largest plug is much larger than the second, and is a step that is a bit harder to take. I feel as though there should be at least one more sized plug between the medium and the large size. The most disappointing point of these plugs is the way they are made. These plugs seem to be made of two different pieces of the PVC. There is the pliable outside and then a separate inner core, and these two pieces are not sealed together well. Mine are already separating, after just a few uses. I really wish that they had been made as one complete piece, with no seams or possibility of separation. I also wish that they had been made of a material that could be fully sanitized, due to their intended use.




 STORAGE:

The biggest storage concern with these plugs is the fact that they are made of PVC and some of those icky chemicals can leach into your other toys. I found that the best way to store these in my own toy box was to place them in a pouch as a barrier against my other toys.






Saturday, March 30, 2013

Dear Diary: Anal Sex

Dear Diary,

I have always been terrified of anal sex. I had a terrible experience with a guy I was seeing when I was much younger and that experience shaped my entire view on anal anything. I held a strict "Exit Only" policy and there was no discussing where I stood. There was no way in hell I was going to allow myself to go through that much pain again.... Let me stop here and give a little background on what happened with this guy I am going to call Tim. Tim was the bad boy and I was instantly attracted to him. Big, baggy goth style pants, skater shoes, edgy t-shirts, huge gauges in his ears, and an I-don't-give-a-shit attitude. At this point I was still in high school and rebelling in a way that if my kids ever do I will kill them immediately raid their college funds to pay for a therapist. Anywho, I starting "seeing" this guy (and by seeing I mean skipping school to hang out, smoke pot, and consume large quantities of fat inducing junk food).  At this time in my life I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. My self-esteem was not just lacking, I had none. I though I knew so much but I was so blissfully naive about the real world. It wasn't long before he had me in his bed. I will never forget having sex with Tim and enjoying it then with absolutely no warning I felt a searing hot, body spasming, breath stealing agony in my ass. When I screamed he chuckled, blurted out an insincere sorry, and tried to continue where we had left off. This was my introduction to the world of anal play.

Obviously this was not the ideal way to be initiated into the world of anal play and I would not suggest it for anyone! Lets fast-forward to the present. I got a job at a brick and mortar sex toy shop and while learning about the various products we sold I decided to expand my own knowledge about the industry. That is how this blog was born. I contacted a ton of small mom and pop type sex toy manufacturers and asked for an opportunity to review a product. One of the very first responses I received was an offer for a silicone dog tail anal plug (review coming soon). This is when I began to reevaluate my stance on anal play. I talked it over for a long time with my husband and decided to go for it. When I received this anal plug I was intimidated by its size. It was obviously too big for a beginner and terrifying for someone with my past experience. Once again my husband and I had a long talk about exploring this area and I contacted the manufacturer with my concerns. He graciously allowed me some extra time to review his product (I guarantee product reviews in a specific amount of time) and gave me some pointers for re-introducing anal play into my life. We decided to purchase some training plugs (review also coming soon) and some Anal Eaze to help prepare me for my review assignment.

Well, obviously I masturbate (so do you, or you wouldn't be here ;) ) and so I decided that the best way for me to get comfortable with my ass being invaded was to begin by myself. I grabbed my tube of Anal Eeze, smeared a generous amount onto my hole and searched my favorite erotica website for some double penetration stories. As my arousal mounted I reached for a vibrator and began to tease my clit and pussy. Soon I was stroking my g-spot, building up for an orgasm, and I decided to give my smallest training plug a try. I doused the plug with silicone lubricant while still manipulating the vibrator in my pussy. Gently I caressed my now slightly numbed hole with the tip of the plug. I tensed and held my breath as I prepared to penetrate my ass, then realizing how ridiculous I was being, I took a deep breath and relaxed. Slowly the tip entered my most forbidden of holes. As I worked the tip of the plug in and out, sinking it slightly deeper each time, I began to enjoy the sensations. It didn't take long before I was able to fully insert the plug creating a feeling of fullness that I have never experienced before. With the plug fully seated in my ass I was able to return my attention to stroking my g-spot to orgasm. I quickly realized that having the plug in my ass put enough pressure onto the vibrator for me to almost immediately cum. Not just cum, but squirt! The force of my orgasm pushed the plug from its position and I was speechless. This is what I have been missing? How different could my past sexual experiences been had I known how much I would enjoy the utter fullness of dual penetration.

Anal play has long been a forbidden and taboo act. Honestly, much of the thrill in anal play has to do with its forbidden nature. I had a mindset so ingrained into me from one bad experience that I could have easily never known the amazing feeling of being stretched to my limit while my husband nestles his hard cock into my ass and fucks my pussy with a dildo. I was so centered in on the "dirty" aspect of anal play and wouldn't even entertain conversation on the topic. Now I can comfortably initiate anal play with my husband without feeling ashamed or like I am doing something wrong. I guess I feel in some ways that by allowing myself to explore something that I had previously had such an aversion to I am taking control of my own sexuality. Unexpectedly, I enjoyed anal penetration and that has allowed me to consider exploring other avenues of expressing my sexuality that I may have never before considered. I am able to fully expand my horizons and test my own personal limits. I am excited to figure out what else we can add to our sexual relationship and I invite you to join me on this journey.

Lustfully yours,
xo Chastity Darling ox