Before we get into this post, I need to include a bit of a warning... Divine Interventions designs and produces sex toys crafted after religious icons. If you happen to be religious or are offended easily I suggest you find something else to read, as this is not a product for the feint of heart. I do not happen to subscribe to any particular religion and was not offended by them at all.
PACKAGING:
My God's Immaculate Rod came to me in a sealed plastic bag inside the box, with a sealed bottle of the Holy Water Lube and a communion napkin. Yes, a communion napkin. I loved that little touch! Also included in my package was a poster containing all of the Divine Interventions creations and a pamphlet on a little project they are working on right now. More on that later.
MATERIAL/TEXTURE:
All of the products created by Divine Interventions are made of silicone. They offer God's Immaculate Rod in either purple or red on the website, but mine is a shimmery white color that glows in the dark. My God's Rod glows in the freaking dark, people. This is awesome. I discovered it purely by chance one night I had him on my nightstand. This is a hard, velvety silicone with little give and a bit of drag.
God's Immaculate Rod has a curve to it, with four nubs on the tip, almost in the shape of a face. For some reason those four nubs threw me back to vacation bible school and I immediately associated it with the three facets of the christian god (father, son, and holy spirit, for those that never had the opportunity to attend VBS). Don't ask me why because I don't have an answer for you. On each side of the curve are three ribs that also reminded me of the story of the creation of woman from man's rib. Man, this dildo really made me look at my religious upbringing in a whole new light...
SIZE:
The God's Immaculate Rod measures 6 1/2 inches from base to tip, with about 6 inches of that being insertable. The slightly flared base, itself, measures approximately 1 3/4 inches wide by 2 3/4 inches long. The Rod has a diameter of about 1 1/2 inches with each rib extending out about 1/8 inch on each side. This is not a particularly large toy, though beginners may find it a bit girthy at first.
FUNCTION:
God's Immaculate Rod is a dildo. There are no mechanics involved, unless you count the pivoting and levering of your elbow and wrist. The curved shape of this dildo means that it may work as a g-spot, or p-spot, stimulator, and the ribs on either side give this dildo a little more excitement. There is a slightly flared base on this dildo, but it is not particularly wide, so please use caution when using the Rod as an anal toy.
PERFORMANCE:
This is a dildo that met every one of my expectations. The firmness of the silicone gave me a hard enough surface to really assist in g-spotting, and felt awesome when rubbed along my labia and clitoris. The pronounced texture on the Rod was easily felt by my vaginal walls and g-spot, leading to incredibly satisfying orgasms. This is one of the simpler designs produced by Divine Interventions, but don't let the simplicity fool you. The feeling of this dildo inside of you will have you begging the gods for more! I would highly recommend these high-quality silicone products to anyone looking for something a bit different, or anyone with a great sense of humor. After all, where else can you find a product that allows you to say you got off using the Virgin Mary?
CLEANING:
Silicone is super easy to clean. There are a multitude of options including: soap and water, commercial toy cleaner, boiling, a run through the dishwasher (detergent free), a 10% bleach solution, or a rub down with alcohol. It is a material that tends to collect lint and hair, so a rinse under water, prior to use, wouldn't hurt.
LUBE:
The Rod is made entirely of silicone, so only water based lubes should be used. This is where the Holy Water Lube comes in handy. This little bottle contains a completely vegan, paraben, glycerin, and DEA free, water based lubricant made with organic extracts. I found that the consistency, smell, and taste remind me of aloe vera gel. This is a formula that is safe to ingest, if you don't mind the taste.This is a medium density lube so it is a bit thicker than your typical silicone formula, but not as thick as a gel. I actually really liked this lube and would definitely recommend it to anyone that may have concerns about some of the ingredients in most water based lubricants. I plan to order another bottle of the Holy Water Lube next time I am in the market for some. I would not, however, recommend this lube for anyone who may be involved with a vampire, as the Holy Water Lube could cause them to be banished to the afterlife forever. We wouldn't want that, now would we?
POSITIVES:
I really love this dildo. The texture of the ribs and nubs combined with the curve in the shaft left me calling out to god (no, he didn't answer me).
NEGATIVES:
The only negatives I could come up with for this package was the taste of the lube, but lets be real, this isn't a lube that was designed to be devoured. Actually, as far as lubes go, this wasn't even a bad tasting non-flavored lube. There was no chemical aftertaste, but rather a grassy or herbal kind of taste.
STORAGE:
Silicone toys should always be stored separately from the rest of your collection. I would suggest a small cloth or zip top style plastic storage bag for any Divine Interventions product. This may reduce the amount of lint attracted to your silicone toy, as well as protect the finish from being damaged.
SHOP INFO:
Divine Interventions is an adult toy company that produces religious themed sex toys. This is not a company for those that are easily offended or have no sense of humor. They became most well known for their
Baby Jesus Butt Plug, but produce such awesome toys as the Jackhammer Jesus, the Diving Nun, and the Bible Thumper, as well as a kneeling Buddha dildo and "Shiva" egg-shaped butt plug. For those a bit leary of such sacrilegious sex toys, Divine Interventions also produces a non-denominational line that features dildos with no religious iconization, including the Celtic, Stallion, Colt, and
God's Immaculate Rod. Also available for purchase from the site is Divine Interventions specially formulated
Holy Water Lube that is completely safe to use with your religious sex toys.
I not only laughed my ass off at the awesome designs that come from the lab at Divine Interventions, but I commend them for their audacity. There is just something about sticking religious iconography in me that really gets my juices flowing. This is such an awesome idea that I have no idea how it has never been done before, or why no one has copied their idea. I want to own the entire line!
PERSONAL COMMENTS:
I mentioned above that Divine Interventions sent me a pamphlet along with my God's immaculate Rod and Holy Water Lube. This pamphlet was a snippet of information on
Inches for Charity, a "cockumentary" that focuses on the male fascination with penis size. Inches for Charity was set up to help provide funds to
AIDS and children's organizations in South Africa. The idea is to sponsor one of the gentlemen that have lent their penises to this experiment, by pledging a certain amount for every inch or partial inch that the men gain while using penis enhancement products. They have provided each of the
five men participating with a penis
extension device, and will be measuring the before and after effects of using the devices. This is truly a fun way to contribute to a great cause, and to be honest, I cannot wait to see the results! Click any of the above links to take you to the Inches for Charity web page, and while you are visiting don't forget to donate to the cause!
Here is the trailer I snagged from the youtube page (it is also posted on the website):
**This product was provided by Divine Interventions free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.**
