Dear Diary: Anal Sex

Dear Diary,

I have always been terrified of anal sex. I had a terrible experience with a guy I was seeing when I was much younger and that experience shaped my entire view on anal anything. I held a strict "Exit Only" policy and there was no discussing where I stood. There was no way in hell I was going to allow myself to go through that much pain again.... Let me stop here and give a little background on what happened with this guy I am going to call Tim. Tim was the bad boy and I was instantly attracted to him. Big, baggy goth style pants, skater shoes, edgy t-shirts, huge gauges in his ears, and an I-don't-give-a-shit attitude. At this point I was still in high school and rebelling in a way that if my kids ever do I will kill them immediately raid their college funds to pay for a therapist. Anywho, I starting "seeing" this guy (and by seeing I mean skipping school to hang out, smoke pot, and consume large quantities of fat inducing junk food).  At this time in my life I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. My self-esteem was not just lacking, I had none. I though I knew so much but I was so blissfully naive about the real world. It wasn't long before he had me in his bed. I will never forget having sex with Tim and enjoying it then with absolutely no warning I felt a searing hot, body spasming, breath stealing agony in my ass. When I screamed he chuckled, blurted out an insincere sorry, and tried to continue where we had left off. This was my introduction to the world of anal play.

Obviously this was not the ideal way to be initiated into the world of anal play and I would not suggest it for anyone! Lets fast-forward to the present. I got a job at a brick and mortar sex toy shop and while learning about the various products we sold I decided to expand my own knowledge about the industry. That is how this blog was born. I contacted a ton of small mom and pop type sex toy manufacturers and asked for an opportunity to review a product. One of the very first responses I received was an offer for a silicone dog tail anal plug (review coming soon). This is when I began to reevaluate my stance on anal play. I talked it over for a long time with my husband and decided to go for it. When I received this anal plug I was intimidated by its size. It was obviously too big for a beginner and terrifying for someone with my past experience. Once again my husband and I had a long talk about exploring this area and I contacted the manufacturer with my concerns. He graciously allowed me some extra time to review his product (I guarantee product reviews in a specific amount of time) and gave me some pointers for re-introducing anal play into my life. We decided to purchase some training plugs (review also coming soon) and some Anal Eaze to help prepare me for my review assignment.

Well, obviously I masturbate (so do you, or you wouldn't be here ;) ) and so I decided that the best way for me to get comfortable with my ass being invaded was to begin by myself. I grabbed my tube of Anal Eeze, smeared a generous amount onto my hole and searched my favorite erotica website for some double penetration stories. As my arousal mounted I reached for a vibrator and began to tease my clit and pussy. Soon I was stroking my g-spot, building up for an orgasm, and I decided to give my smallest training plug a try. I doused the plug with silicone lubricant while still manipulating the vibrator in my pussy. Gently I caressed my now slightly numbed hole with the tip of the plug. I tensed and held my breath as I prepared to penetrate my ass, then realizing how ridiculous I was being, I took a deep breath and relaxed. Slowly the tip entered my most forbidden of holes. As I worked the tip of the plug in and out, sinking it slightly deeper each time, I began to enjoy the sensations. It didn't take long before I was able to fully insert the plug creating a feeling of fullness that I have never experienced before. With the plug fully seated in my ass I was able to return my attention to stroking my g-spot to orgasm. I quickly realized that having the plug in my ass put enough pressure onto the vibrator for me to almost immediately cum. Not just cum, but squirt! The force of my orgasm pushed the plug from its position and I was speechless. This is what I have been missing? How different could my past sexual experiences been had I known how much I would enjoy the utter fullness of dual penetration.

Anal play has long been a forbidden and taboo act. Honestly, much of the thrill in anal play has to do with its forbidden nature. I had a mindset so ingrained into me from one bad experience that I could have easily never known the amazing feeling of being stretched to my limit while my husband nestles his hard cock into my ass and fucks my pussy with a dildo. I was so centered in on the "dirty" aspect of anal play and wouldn't even entertain conversation on the topic. Now I can comfortably initiate anal play with my husband without feeling ashamed or like I am doing something wrong. I guess I feel in some ways that by allowing myself to explore something that I had previously had such an aversion to I am taking control of my own sexuality. Unexpectedly, I enjoyed anal penetration and that has allowed me to consider exploring other avenues of expressing my sexuality that I may have never before considered. I am able to fully expand my horizons and test my own personal limits. I am excited to figure out what else we can add to our sexual relationship and I invite you to join me on this journey.

Lustfully yours,
xo Chastity Darling ox

Giveaway: Maia Toys

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Dear Diary

Hello my darling readers :). I have been thinking and debating about adding an additional bit to the blog beyond my product reviews. I have decided to start these little blurbs titled "Dear Diary" where I can write about some of my own personal experiences in this journey of sexual expression and share them with you.

I will be irreverent at times, crude, funny, and sometimes completely serious. I plan on touching on some potentially triggering topics in these posts and sharing more about me and who I am. I hope this gives us a chance to get to know each other. I want to encourage everyone and anyone to post any questions you might have for me (I promise to answer) and to share your thoughts and feelings on the topic posted or suggest a topic for a future "Dear Diary" post. I want to hear from you all too!!!

I am actually pretty excited about this series of posts and I hope you all are too. The first official "Dear Diary" post will be coming soon.

Thank you all for reading :)

Lustfully yours;
xo Chastity Darling ox

Perf.Des: XS Curved

Come, let me introduce you to my g-spots new best friend. Okay so he doesn't have a name yet but he definitely deserves one, so feel free to give me some suggestions. Isn't he just handsome??

PACKAGING:

My XS Curved carbon fiber dildo arrived strapped with hot pink ribbon to a long card of photo paper with some basic information printed on it. I have been informed by Mr. Shultz that he intends to replace the photo paper with a sturdier card stock type paper. It was quite attractive and I really appreciated the feminine touch. It had been carefully padded on all sides with plastic bubbles and sitting on top of the box was some information about Perf.Des, Nick Shultz (the art and brains behind Perf.Des) and his available products.

MATERIAL/TEXTURE:

The XS Curved is a smooth dildo with no texture but a curve to the design. This dildo is made of carbon fiber with a urethane coating to make it completely waterproof and incredibly hard. The material this dildo is made of is the same lightweight yet incredibly strong material used in high end sport cars and race cars. With proper care, maintenance and storage, this dildo should last you a lifetime.

SIZE:

The dildo I received for review measures 9 inches from tip to tip. The "head" of the dildo has a diameter of 2 inches and the shaft is about a half inch thinner. The opposite end of the curve has a diameter of 3/4 inch. This was a great size for me but some may need something a bit thinner and others may like a bit more girth. Perf.des allows you to customize the size of your dildo so it is exactly to your size needs.

FUNCTION:

The XS Curved is a curved dildo designed for concentrated g-spot stimulation and penetration. The smooth surface and hardness are ideal for rubbing the clitoris. This is not a toy that I would suggest for anal play as there is nothing to stop this dildo from getting lost somewhere you don't want to lose a sex toy.

PERFORMANCE:

I absolutely can not say enough about this dildo. It has quickly become both my and my husbands favorite toy! The curve and thickness has me squirting on a regular basis. I have never come across a toy that consistently results in a squirting orgasm before and I am blown away!!! Carbon Fiber is extremely strong but incredibly light so I had no worries about wrist fatigue (although my husband was more than happy to help me out) and was actually able to use him a bit more aggressively than I would have if he was heavier.

CLEANING:

This dildo is best cleaned using soap and water or a commercial toy cleaner. Do not place this toy into the dishwasher and I would not suggest boiling. You could probably sterilize this toy with a 10% bleach solution if necessary but day to day cleaning should be done with just an anti-bacterial soap and warm water.

LUBE:

This dildo is compatible with any type of lube you wish to use. It is a non-porous surface so there is no worry about your lube being absorbed into the toy.

POSITIVES:

The carbon fiber was a different and unique material to use in a sex toy but I found it to be quite erotic. Each dildo is custom made to your specifications then signed and numbered by Nick Shultz, himself.

NEGATIVES:

I honestly could not find one single thing I disliked about this toy. I tried, hard, but I just love this guy too much.

STORAGE:

Carbon Fiber is a very hard material that should be very difficult to damage, however I do suggest storing the XS line of Perf.Des' carbon fiber products in a pouch to create a barrier between this and your other toys in order to protect the finish. It is recommended to always inspect your toys upon receiving them and also before each use. If your XS dildo ever gets chipped or is damaged in any way, discontinue use and contact Nick Shultz immediately.


SHOP INFO:

Perf.des is a design studio founded in 1999 by designer and artist, Nick Shultz. He has been honored with multiple awards for his automotive designs, product designs and artwork. Perf.des offers everything from custom airbrushing for your outside toys (motorcycles, cars, etc) to artwork in almost any media as well as his exclusive XS line of customizable dildos and carbon fiber purses. Go check out his amazing work because this guy is really talented. Any of the above links will take you directly to his website or you can check out his etsy shop.

**This product was provided by Perf-Des free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.**

Red Room of Pain: Feathered Nipple Clamps

Interested in trying something new? Do you enjoy nipple stimulation? Looking for a way to figure out if nipple clamps are for you? I have the perfect solution: Red Room of Pain's Feathered Nipple Clamps. These are beautiful, artistic, seductive clamps with the option of adjustability making them perfect for everyone from the beginner trying something new to the experienced clamp collector looking for a beautiful new addition.

PACKAGING:

These clamps arrived at my door in a nice padded pouch with a personal note from the owner of Red Room of Pain. There was nothing to suggest that my package contained anything of a sexual nature and my roommates had no idea what I had received, although they were quite curious.

MATERIAL/TEXTURE:

These Feathered Nipple Clamps are accented with a seductive shade of red feathers that are quite possibly the softest feathers I have ever touched. The clamp itself  is made entirely of metal making them incredibly durable. The part of the clamp that goes onto the nipple as well as the area you would use to open the jaws have rubber grips that make them much more comfortable for longer wear yet still provided a tempting squeeze. The adjustable finger screws allow you full control on how loose or tight you wish your clamps to fit.

SIZE:

The metal area of these nipple clamps measures 2 inches in length from tip to tip. The rubber grips on the ends have a generous length of just over 1/2 inch giving plenty of room for even the largest nipples to wear these clamps comfortably. The feathers themselves extend an additional 3 inches from the bottom of the metal clamp. In its tightest setting the tips of the clamp rest firmly against one another but can be extended  to 1/2 inch apart when the finger screw is fully engaged.

FUNCTION:

Nipple clamps are designed to stimulate by restricting blood flow to and from the nipple. They can be used to provide pleasure, pain, or pleasurable pain. The Feathered Nipple Clamps by Red Room of Pain are adjustable to help you figure out how much pressure or pain you can handle.

PERFORMANCE:

Not only are Red Room of Pain's red Feathered Nipple Clamps beautiful but they are so much fun to use. I found these nipple clamps to be perfect for my very first set. I love them. The fact that they can be adjusted factors highly into my love of these clamps. I recently stopped breastfeeding and my nipples are tough as nails some days and sensitive to the lightest touch the next so I really appreciated that I could control the amount of pressure placed on my nipples. My husband really liked putting them in place and tightening them to my threshold and then gently tugging on them during intercourse. He has yet to try them but he has super sensitive nipples and isn't much interested in using them himself. This does not mean that this product cannot be used for men. Some men enjoy the feeling of nipple stimulation and this is a great set to start off your collection. We also found that these feathers make for great teasers. During foreplay we held the metal part of the clamp in our hands and used the feathers to stroke one another's body. These clamps can be used anywhere your body can tolerate included the testicles, penis, clitoris, or the labia.

CLEANING:

There is really no need for cleaning these clamps except maybe wiping down the plastic grips after use. This can be done with a moist cloth. Because I have recently stopped breastfeeding, my nipples do leak milk occasionally. When this happens I just gently remove the milk from the feathers using a dry paper towel and have had no staining or altering of the feathers appearance or function. I can not say the same for other bodily fluids as we have not come across this issue yet.

POSITIVES:

I was very pleased with how these clamps looked both sitting on my dresser and while wearing them. They are beautiful, fluffy, soft feathers that look very tempting when clamped onto my hard, red nipples and provide a sexy mix of pleasure and pain.

NEGATIVES:

I have yet to find any negatives about these clamps and I have used them multiple times both by myself and with my husband.

STORAGE:

I don't see any particular storage issues with these clamps. Personally I have a small bag that I put mine in when they are not being used but this is mostly because I am obsessive about my toy organization.

SHOP INFO:

Red Room of Pain is an etsy shop that specializes in BDSM products including nipple clamps, anal plugs, burlesque-style pasties, and bondage sets. They even have anal plugs to match these beautiful clamps I have reviewed! Wanna know the best part? Red Room of Pain has offered my readers an exclusive 10% discount on all products using the code Chastity. Now there is no reason for you not to zip right on over to their store right this minute and order a pair of these beautiful clamps and maybe even a matching plug. Won't your honey be surprised and excited when these arrive in the mail.


**I received this product free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines**

Fun Vibes: The Finger

Who doesn't like getting packages in the mail?? Why, its my "Finger" vibrator from Funvibes. Inside the standard USPS shipping box was my newest review product vacuum packed for freshness. At least I guess its for freshness, or maybe to ensure the recipient of the toys sanitation... either way I was a bit excited and ripped into the packaging before I took pictures. Sorry about that. Thoughtfully included in my package was a single AA battery to power my new vibrator.

 MATERIAL/TEXTURE:

This is, as the name obviously implies, a finger shaped dildo made of 100% dragon skin silicone with a vibrator inserted into the dildo. Dragon skin silicone is a high quality, extremely strong, incredibly flexible material that is completely non-porous and body safe. The surface is both soft and smooth with finger, joint and nail details as well as a few added nubbies towards the base for a little extra texture and pleasure. The vibrator itself is smooth plastic with a dial for vibration strength and requires one AA battery. I really appreciated the non-phallic shape to this dildo, it really is suitable for both men and women that may not be looking for something shaped like a penis.

SIZE:

The Finger alone measures in at 6 1/4 inches in total length with an insertable length of 5 1/4 inches. The width of the finger is about 1 1/2 inches the entire length ending in a 2 1/4 inch base. The vibrator itself measures 5 inches total with 4 inches suitable for insertion and 1 inch in width. The last inch of the vibrator does remain outside of the Finger when they are assembled so that you can still control the vibration intensity.

FUNCTION:

This little toy is like getting two products at once, a silicone dildo and a vibrator. The finger is really made for internal stimulation with the finger pad in a great position for caressing the g-spot. This toy could potentially be used for anal play because it does have a base that is wider than the dildo, however I did not test this out for myself. As with many vibrating toys, the finger can also be used to stimulate the clitoris. 

PERFORMANCE:

I had a lot of fun with this Finger, I mean, who doesn't like a good finger banging every now and then? And then to have that finger be magnified many times its size is just a fantastic idea in my opinion. The vibrations were really noticeable through the dildo and the shape really made a perceptible difference. Because of its finger design; this toy has a slight curve that may make it easier to reach your g-spot or p-spot and you may find it a bit more comfortable to stimulate your clitoris.

CLEANING:  

The Finger sleeve is easily washed in soap and water, commercial toy cleaner, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, and is even dishwasher safe! The vibrator, on the other hand, is best washed in soap and water or using a commercial toy cleaner. A 10% bleach solution can be used to sterilize the vibrator but I would suggest being careful not to submerge the entire thing as it is not waterproof. 

LUBE:

This is a 100% silicone toy therefore silicone lubes cannot be used with this product, however your favorite water based lube is perfect for use with the Finger. The good news is that silicone is non-porous so your lube won't get absorbed by this toy so it will last longer. 

POSITIVES:

I really liked that this was a non-phallic design making it ideal for men and women looking for something other than a penis for insertion. The high quality silicone makes for durable toy that with proper care will last for a long time. The Finger is super easy to clean and a lot of fun to play with. 

NEGATIVES:

I didn't have much negative to say about the Finger itself. Due to the nature of silicone it does tend to pick up lint so it is wise to rinse your toy off before use. The vibrator itself is pretty loud so that is something to be aware of if you have roommates like I do. Also the dial on the bottom of the vibrator flickered on me a few times when I barely brushed it. This can be remedied by replacing the vibrator included with one of your choice. Since this particular silicone is so stretchy it will likely accomodate a slightly larger vibrator. My only real disappointment was with the placement of the vibrator hole. It was closer to the surface on the inside of the Finger (the inside of the knuckle/palm side of the finger) but it ended up making the vibrations stronger on that side. I also played with that area quite a bit by stretching and bending it multiple times and kind of abusing it and there was absolutely no weakness or tearing. Now that I think about it, I'm not so sure this is a negative after all...

STORAGE:

Silicone toys need to be stored in a manner that they do not come in contact with other silicone toys. I suggest using a cloth pouch or something along those lines to individually store the silicone pieces in your collection. Now I am not a chemist nor was I particularly fond of chemistry but I believe this has something to do with the silicone breaking down when it comes into contact with other silicone. If you read this and know what I am talking about, please educate me. 

STORE INFO:

Funvibes offers several rather uncommon and unique styles of dildo that are available as dildo, vibrator, and they can also be made "Vac U Lock" compatible. The Finger is available in 5", 6", and 8 1/2" sizes and a variety of colors. There is also a Zombie Finger for the avid Walking Dead fan. From Penguin to Extra-terrestrial, Funvibes is a great shop with quality toys offering a little something different than the average sex toy shop. Erik is the creator and sculptor behind Funvibes. His very first sex toy came by a request from a sex education teacher that happened to be a friend of his. His friends must be pretty smart because another friend of his suggested a non-phallic design which resulted in the incredibly fun Finger. Erik, I like your friends and I've never even met them. I really liked this design.


**I received this product free of charge in return for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.**

Pops Woodturning: The Pleasure Bump Series

Pops Woodturning: The Pleasure Bump Series

Okay I know what you are thinking after just reading the title. "Wood?? What about splinters??" It's a darn good thing you won't have to worry about that with this amazing product. When I first heard about wooden dildos I was intrigued. Not only is this a new idea for me but it is also eco-friendly. Or is it?? Maybe not so much since you make the dildo from wood and to get the wood you have to kill the tree.... Hhhmmm.... I guess you will have to make up your own mind on that one. I wondered about the way the material would feel and how it would perform. This was my very first wooden toy and I am happy to say that I will be adding more to my ever growing collection.

PACKAGING:

This dildo came to me discreetly packaged in a small, plain, oblong cardboard box with no indication of what was inside. The return address was marked "Pops Woodturning" and his shop address in South Carolina. I opened the box to see the dildo wrapped in paper and tucked securely into the box. I was quite happy with the way this was sent to me since I do have roommates right now and don't think they need to know everything about me.

MATERIAL/TEXTURE:

The dildo that I was sent was turned using oak wood then coated in seven layers of a non-toxic, FDA approved food safe varnish. The turning process leaves the object with a smooth finish which is emphasized by the varnish coating the dildo. I always inspect my toys very thoroughly when I receive them to ensure there are no defects or potential issues, I am happy to say that this dildo came to me in excellent shape. I was slightly disappointed in the smoothness of the dildo as there were a few spots I felt could have been sanded more completely for a smoother finish, but overall found it to be in great shape. The texture of the wood grain was barely noticeable to the touch and not nearly enough to make a difference internally.

SIZE:

The dildo I reviewed measures in at 8 1/2 inches in total length leaving plenty of room for me to hold the base and maneuver the toy while inserted. This dildo features four one inch diameter bumps with a base of just over one inch in diameter. The shaft between each bump is about 3/4 of an inch but there isn't much length that is this thin, really just enough to provide some distinction between each of the bumps.  Attached to the base is a 1/2 inch long hook where you can tie your favorite colored ribbon or string for a bit of extra personality.

FUNCTION:

This toy can be used in a multitude of ways. Not only can this dildo be used to stimulate the g-spot but it is small and smooth enough to be safely used as an anal stimulator and the bumps add a great texture to clitoral stimulation. Another great way to use this dildo is to smear some massage oil on your back (or other body part) and glide it along your muscles. It adds a different sensation to that sensual foreplay massage.

PERFORMANCE:

I found this dildo to be a great size for angling to reach my g-spot. My particular model is small enough to use anally as well as vaginally. The gentle bumps along the shaft provide a subtle texture that is noticeable in use. Although this dildo is made of a hard material much like glass and metal, the wood is a totally different sensation as it seems almost soft in comparison with other toys of unyielding material. The wood is also a lightweight material which conveniently allows you to use these dildos for extended periods of time without wrist fatigue. This dildo has plenty of room for both me and my larger handed husband to hold and manipulate and the ribbon allows me to wrap it around my hand to keep me from dropping it when it's all lubed up.

CLEANING:

The finish on this dildo makes it very easy to clean. Ease in cleaning is very important to me when looking at a product to purchase. Wood toys are compatible with soap and water cleaning, commercial toy cleaner, and a 10% bleach solution. Dishwasher cleaning is not recommended for wooden toys and it is always best to let them air dry or wipe any lingering water off with a dry cloth.

LUBE:

The finish on this toy makes it compatible with any type of lubrication on the market but I would recommend using something water based. This could very well be swayed by my preference for water based lubes and their extreme ease in wiping clean but I feel (with absolutely no evidence or fact to base this claim) that water based lubes are a safer bet with more homemade style toys.

NEGATIVES:

I was a little disappointed with the overall smoothness of this product. There were a few spots where the wood under the varnish was not polished to the glass smooth surface that the website claims.

POSITIVES:

You can see a red ribbon in my pictures of this dildo, I added that little touch with a scrap of ribbon I had laying around onto the hook attached to the base of the dildo. Not only does this allow a small amount of personalization but also increases the storage option.

SHOP INFO:

Joel Ackerman, the owner and creator at Pops Woodturning, creates customizable wood dildos as well as other products such as roach clips and tobacco pipes, incense burners, bracelet helpers, jewelry displays and mortar and pestle sets. He primarily works in oak and maple but can use other woods based on availability. You have the option to customize everything from length and thickness to the number and size of bumps and anything else you can imagine. Also available are matching sets of dildos in assorted sizes in case you would like one for anal use and another for vaginal use. Mr. Ackerman has over 50 years of experience in wood turning and his products really are works of art. His shop is located in South Carolina and he encourages his customers to stop by and see his collection of products in person or you can browse through his listings on etsy or on his website. The best part?? This is a product that is proudly made in the USA!!!


**I received this product free of charge in return for an honest review. This is compliant with FTC guidelines.**