Friday, July 12, 2013

I'm back!!! With a winner :)

Hey everyone. Sorry about the long, unintended break. There has been so much going on here that I simply have not had any time to hop on here and post. I still do not have my computer back... Lets not talk about it, ok? It makes me very sad. But I have great news!!! I have chosen a random winner for my Divine-Interventions Giveaway! and I have a crap load of reviews to be posted during this month, including a Tantus  product, another dildo from the Divine Interventions crew, Str8Cam Spunk Lube, and several Bad Dragon products. I am hoping to get a few lingerie reviews posted this month, but they are a bit further down on my list of things to do. Now, lets hope I fall back into a comfortable routine over the coming weeks. And without further ado, I would like to congratulate the winner of my very first giveaway, VaNessa!!! Thank you all for entering and I hope to be able to host more giveaways in the future. An email has been sent to the contestant, and if not answered within 10 days another winner will be chosen.

Stay tuned for more blog posts coming soon!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Unfortunate News and My Apologies

Well, my loves, I have some unfortunate news. You may have noticed that I have not posted anything new in over a week... Well, my computer died. She is dead and I am in the market for a new one but it could be another week or two before I am back.

To those that have sent me products to review: I am still working on my reviews, but I have extremely limited internet access without my beloved laptop, and almost no access to my blog due to its adult nature. Actually, I am shocked I was able to get on to write this post, as I have been denied every other time I have tried :( Please accept my apologies and I will post my reviews as soon as I possibly can.

To my darling readers: I am sorry. I am probably more upset about this than anyone and I am doing everything I can think of to get back online as soon as possible. Technology is awesome... until it isn't. And right now, me and technology are having a bit of a disagreement. Argh. Don't write me off yet, ladies and gents, I will be back and better than ever... and hopefully soon.

I have some awesome reviews coming up and a giveaway that ends July 7th. Feel free to look back over some of my past reviews and leave some encouraging comments (I need them!) or send me a hug because I am beyond frustrated with this situation... or a bottle of wine.

Until I can get back, keep the lights burning for me.

XO Chastity Darling OX

Friday, June 7, 2013

Lady Robin's Toys: Spanking Canes


My canes arrived in a tubular mailing package with no indication of what was inside. I tore into the top to find my canes wrapped in tissue paper and rubber banded with a business card and a bumper sticker. I do love bumper stickers!


There are several canes here and some of the handles are made of different materials.The striking part of the canes are made of Delrin. Delrin is a high performance plastic superior to most other plastics in strength, stability, stiffness, and is fatigue, solvent and fuel, abrasion resistant and produces low wear and friction. This is a material that more or less bridges the gap between ordinary plastics and metal. The canes I received have various handles of material I am not familiar with. I do not use the handle part of the cane for impact so I have not explored their body-safe properties. The black handles have an almost foam-like feel and the other handles are harder (like a plastic) and are weighted.


Stinger (orange weighted handle): 1/4 inch diameter striking area and the handle is 1/2" in diameter. The total length is 16 1/4" with a handle measuring roughly 4 1/2" and the striking area is 11 3/4" long.

Black Weighted: 3/8" diameter of the delrin striking area and the handle is 5/8" in diameter, and a bit thicker on the caps. Total length is 18 1/4", the handle taking up 4 of those inches and the striking area measures 12 1/4" in length. The weighted handle on this cane is a UV reactive blue and contains a steel collar on one end for better weight distribution and control.

White with white handle: This is the largest cane in my collection with a striking area diameter of 1/2" and a length of 13". The total length of this model is 18" with the handle being 5" long and 3/4" in diameter and is made with their signature diamond braid. (This model is ideal for heavier or more muscular people who may need something a bit more intense.)

White "Thumper" Pair: These are two matching canes measuring a total of 15" each. The striking surface is roughly 10 3/4" long and 3/8" in diameter. The handle is made of a foam-type product and measures approximately 4 1/2" in length with a diameter of 5/8".

Clear with black handle: 18 3/4" in total length, with a 5" long handle made out of polycarbonate (same material in motorcycle windshields) , this is my longest reaching cane. The diameter of the striking area is 3/8" and the handle has a diameter just shy of 3/4".


The Lady Robin's Spanking Canes are designed for intermediate to advanced levels of impact play. There are several different styles that I was sent and their functions range from stinging ("Stinger" style cane) to thumping and percussion play. These are canes, that at my low-level of experience, provide lots of bang for your buck.


I have tested out several of the canes and have been very pleased by the results. I am someone that bruises very, very easily. We are talking if you push too hard in one spot I will end up with a nice fingerprint bruise, and I have been able to mostly avoid any serious bruising with these canes. Having said that, if you like the harder impact and crave bruising, these canes will not disappoint. I, however, am not a huge fan of bruises since I get them so easily. The Thumpers are fantastic for an over-the-knee spanking session, due to their shorter lengths, or even as drumsticks using my ass as the drum. The Stinger, which happens to be my favorite in both performance and aesthetics (I like orange, a lot), is the perfect size for all over impact. The shorter length and smaller diameter make for a very stingy impact. Minimal effort is needed to provide maximum sting with this little guy, and I find that it is easier to control him (or maybe I am just projecting because I love him so much!). We have used the Stinger along my legs, thighs, stomach, and breasts and am always pleased with the nice, red welts that pop up rather quickly.


Cleaning your Lady Robins Canes is pretty easy. I have not broken the skin with these canes, so I just wipe mine down after a good session with a damp cloth. I would assume that you could wash them in soap and water or wipe them down with a 70-90% Isopropyl Alcohol should you need to sterilize them for use with your partner. Bleach is not recommended prolonged exposure could cause some damage.


There is definitely some nice impact, of all intensities, capable with these canes. The lighter you swing, the less of a bite that the cane will have, and the reverse is true, as well. For the most part, it is easy to control the impact and pattern of strikes. My favorite feature of these canes?? They are all super affordable and not a single one of the products I have cost more than $15! Great workmanship for a steal!


These are NOT an impact tool that should be used for beginners. I used them as a beginner, and the first time nearly swore me off of impact play permanently. In the end, I am so happy I gave them another try after giving my husband some pointers and tips on what I can and cannot handle at this point. Communication during impact play is key to safety and comfort (or discomfort, if you will)!


Currently, my canes sit in the top drawer of my toy chest...which happens to be a small dresser. I have ordered a storage bag from another lovely blogger who creates custom storage bags, but it has not arrived yet. I would suggest storing your canes seperately from your other adult products because some materials can interact with one another and the results are NOT pretty. Trust me.


Lady Robin's Toys are the love child of Lady Robin and her husband and the creator of this line, Johnan. Mr. Johnan began creating these quality products for his wife, an established FemDomme in the Central Texas scene. Each design is field tested by Lady Robin on her willing submissives. Lady Robins Toys are handmade and can be customized to your preferences, just let them know what you want! I am very happy with my canes, but will have to work at it a bit longer to get fully comfortable with the larger ones. Having said that, I highly recommend you head over to their website (link) or Etsy shop (link) and check out what else they have at the moment. You won't be disappointed.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

TMI Tuesday: What's In Your Refrigerator (and Freezer)?

This week’s main TMI Tuesday questions are brought to us by

What’s in your refrigerator (and freezer)?

What’s in your refrigerator (and freezer)?
1. Anything alcoholic? beer, wine, bottle of champagne?
We have a shelf dedicated to the alcohol, so no. **Just checked and there are actually 2 mini bottles of Kahlua and one partial bottle of Chambord that must belong to my roommates.**

2. Any guilty pleasures? Anything chocolate? Any ice cream?
There are 2 partial tubs of ice-cream in the freezer, some popsicles, but the chocolate also has its own drawer outside of the fridge.

3. Any really old bottles of condiments?
Just cleaned out the fridge last week, so no.

4. Frozen pizza? Other frozen quick dinners?
We don't do frozen dinners, unless you count frozen leftover soups. In that case we have some chicken noodle soup, navy bean soup, and beef-vegetable stew for those days no one feels like cooking.

5. Anything actually rotten or moldy?
No. I cannot stand a nasty fridge so I check almost everything daily.

6. What do you have in your fridge that the rest of us probably don’t?
Slovak salad, sun tea, and homemade sweet and sour sauce from dinner night before last.

Bonus: In the novel Portnoy’s Complaint by Philip Roth, the main character, Alexander Portnoy, masturbates using a liver steak as well as a cored-out apple. Have you ever masturbated with food? What?
I have never masturbated with food...

Bonus, bonus: We're curious, how many phallic shaped foods are in your refrigerator?
If you don't count condiment bottles or biscuit rolls, just pickles.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Giveaway: Your Choice of Divine Interventions Products

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Divine Interventions produces high quality, silicone sex toys with a religious theme. I am giving you the opportunity to choose which product you want to try! Good luck!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Exotic-Erotics: Phoenix

The Phoenix is a mythological firebird that can be found in the writings of the Persians, Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Chinese, and Phoenicians. The various legends refer to the Phoenix as a fire-spirit that has a lifespan of 500-1,000 years. At the end of its long life, the phoenix builds itself a nest of twigs and branches, then settles down to burn to ash. From the ash rises an egg that will hatch into another Phoenix, and then the process is repeated. According to legend, there can only be one phoenix at a time, and it is said to serenade the sun with a melodious song. The Phoenix has been described as looking like an eagle with multi colored plumage and a spirit so gentle that it never kills, existing completely on drops of dew.

Phoenix XL - Click Image to Close
artist rendering of Phoenix by NayaStarDragon (from EE product page)


My lovely Phoenix arrived in an unmarked box with a discreet return address that left no indication of what may be inside. The Phoenix, itself, was encased in a sealed plastic bag and tucked inside the optional storage bag I had requested. Also included was a page of information on how to properly care for and store the toy. I requested that my Phoenix be made with a custom colorization of my choice and he came out beautifully! He is a bright, fluorescent orange with a black base, and I suspect he may be UV reactive but I don't currently have a blacklight to test that theory. *Note: I have been informed by the staff at EE that the orange is, in fact, UV reactive.*


Exotic Erotics uses a high quality, medical grade, platinum-cure silicone in all of their toys. I chose to order the small Phoenix in a medium firmness with custom colors. Exotic-Erotics offers three options for firmness and a few cored options, as well. I chose the medium firmness, which is most often compared to a stale gummy bear or an unopened tube of toothpaste. I find this to be a pretty accurate description. There is quite a bit of give to this toy, and it can be bent in half very easily. Personally, I prefer a firmer material, but I did not know that until I tried out my Phoenix.

The tip of the Phoenix is a bit pointy, but the medium firmness meant that it was not too pointy and could be squished very easily. The "back" of the head has 5 ridges in a chevron-style pattern. These ridges do add a bit of texture but I was unable to feel them during use. The head tapers inward, then back outward to create the "knot" towards the bottom of the shaft. The knot itself is not textured, but it does have a few vein-like lines towards the front of the dildo. Again, this was a texture that I was unable to feel during use. The base has a light, feather-like texture around the outer edges, and is large enough to hold onto comfortably for a shorter session. It can get a bit uncomfortable for longer use. I did not opt to add a suction cup to this dildo (they are offered) and now I kind of wish I had.


I chose the small sized Phoenix, who measured in at a total length of 7 inches, with 6 inches of insertable length. The head of the Phoenix is a nice 1 1/4 inches in diameter and the knot, which is the widest part of the dildo, is a full 2 inches in diameter. Exotic Erotics also offers the Phoenix in a medium (7 inches insertable with a 1 1/2 inch head diameter and 2 1/2 inch knot diameter), large (9 inches insertable, 2 inch head, 3 inch long knot with a diameter of 3 1/5 inches) and extra large (11 inches insertable, 2.62 inch head, 3.8 inch diameter knot that is 4 inches in length) should you need a larger toy to meet your needs. **Note: measurements for medium, large, and extra large phoenix are from the EE product pages. I do not have these dildos so I was unable to take my own measurements.**


The Phoenix is a dildo that can be used for either vaginal or anal use. I have only used him for vaginal use, as he is a bit bigger than any of my other anal toys. The knot towards the base of the shaft means that you can use the Phoenix as a vaginal plug since the knot will keep the toy from easily sliding out during use.


The Phoenix is definitely on my top 10 list of favorite dildos right now. The squishy-ness of the medium firmness silicone makes it seem a bit smaller than its actual measured size, so I probably could have ordered the medium size and been fine. Keep this in mind if you are looking for a toy with a size that you will need to work up to taking internally. The head of the Phoenix features a lovely curve that assists in finding and stimulating my g-spot, however the firmness of the silicone does affect the amount of pressure that you can place onto the g-spot. I found that while he is too soft to produce squirting orgasms, he does provide a great warm-up when squirting is the goal. The knot towards the base of the Phoenix created a sensation I had not previously experienced with any of my other toys. The thickness of the knot is very filling at the entrance to the vagina while allowing for some slight movement so the head can stimulate the g-spot or vaginal walls further inside. Overall, I was very happy with my Phoenix and would definitely recommend him to anyone looking for something that can provide different sensations, or those that may be involved in the furry community.


Like most other silicone products, the Phoenix is easy to clean with a myriad of options. They can be washed with antibacterial soap and water, commercial toy cleaner, boiling for 3 minutes, soaked a 10% bleach solution, or a run through the dishwasher (without detergent) on the top rack. Silicone is non-porous and completely body-safe so they can be shared between partners, provided they are sterilized first.


The Phoenix is made entirely of silicone, so only water-based lubricants should be used. Silicone products do not usually play well with silicone lubricants and they could degrade the material and finish on your silicone toy.


I just love my Phoenix. I am even considering names for him, at the moment. Although the textured surface wasn't obvious during use, I love the way he looks. Silicone is super easy to maintain and sterilizable (very important to me!) so he can be good as new whenever you want to take the time to do so. The softer feel of the medium firmness silicone allowed me to knot the toy with no problems, and kept the pointy head from pointing too hard into my cervix. All things considered, I would suggest him to any of my friends or readers.


The only negative I came up with was that I wish I had ordered him in the medium size, medium firmness, or the small size in the hard firmness. This is strictly because of my own personal preferences, and not something that is a negative about the toy itself. Just keep in mind what you wish to use your dildo for when deciding on size and firmness.


I requested the free storage bag with my Phoenix when I ordered. It is a lightweight, black material that has holes throughout (part of the fabric design) that allows the silicone to "breathe" and have proper air circulation. It has a simple drawstring type closure and I have not noticed any stray threads and the stitching seems to be pretty solid.


Exotic Erotics specializes in live-cast and fantasy sculpted dildos. The life-cast series includes dildos that are created from actual casts of various penises, both human and animal. They have life-casts of 2 canines, 10 different equine styles, and 2 different authentic human penises. The sculpted toys available are of both the animal and fantasy varieties. Available in sculpted animal toys include a rhino, elephant trunk, an orca, a male deer, and an anthro horse and anthro canine. The fantasy series includes such creatures as the Hippocampus, Phoenix, a werewolf, a wuffamute (wolf/malamute hybrid), and a Frost Wyvern (a dragon-like creature). This is a company that caters to a smaller niche of the sex toy market and those that are members of the furry community. They are also the only company that I am aware of that creates life-cast models of animal penises. These are not products for everyone, but those that may want to give them a chance won't be disappointed!


I was really excited when EE decided to give me an opportunity to review one of their products. I chose the Phoenix because I had not read any other reviews on him, although I had come across several reviews for their other products. As someone who has worked in a sex toy shop and reviews sex toys, the common humanistic penis can get a bit, well, boring after a while. I was looking for something new and that may provide different textures. I was not at all disappointed. I hope to be able to add another EE toy to my collection before long, and I have my eye on that very textured Hippocampus. I think I may just have a sex toy addiction, and a new supplier to feed my need!

**This product was provided by Exotic-Erotics free of charge, except shipping costs, in exchange for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.**

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

TMI Tuesday: Who's Counting?

TMI Tuesday is here again! Thank you to blogger for this week’s fun questions.

Who’s Counting?

bedpost notches_tmi
1. Do you/have you ever kept track of the number or people you have been with?
I think I did a count with an ex bf a few years ago, but I don't remember what it was. I have never had a little black book or anything, and I was quite promiscuous in my teens...
2. To get specific, How many people have you -
a. slept with     Not sure
b. kissed (in a romantic way, obviously)   A lot ;)
c. given oral to   Too many
d. received oral from etc.    Not enough!
3. What is the most amount of people you have been with at one time? (twosome, threesome, foursome, etc)
An ex and I have a "foursome" with friends of ours, but it was more along the lines of they stayed on their side of the bed and we stayed on ours. I have also been involved in both MMF and MFF threesomes (one of each!).
4. Have you ever had multiple partners in the same day, just different times? (One person in the morning, another at lunch, and one at dinner, etc)
Yes, I have, but I showered in between! I have also given one guy oral then kissed another guy. He had no idea! 
Bonus: Describe your best multiple person encounter, either something that actually happened or one that you would want to happen. Or both. ;)
I would really like to further explore threesomes of both variety with my husband. I also get excited fantasizing about being worshipped in all ways by multiple men (think like 4-6) but I doubt that one will ever leave the realm of fantasy.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Friday, May 17, 2013

Lucky Me Lucky You: Flavored Pleasure Towelettes


These flavored pleasure towelettes come individually packaged in a packet that is slightly larger than a condom wrapper. The packaging itself  shows the Lucky Me Lucky You company name and logo, which reminds me of a pink and blue butterfly, as well as the flavor of the wipe. Currently, Lucky Me Lucky You has only developed one flavor thus far, but is working on a few more.


The packaging measures 3 inches by 3 inches.The towelette, itself, measures approximately 5 1/3 inches by 5 3/4 inches when fully unfolded.


Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice
Stevia Rebaudiana Extract
Citric Acid
Potassium Sorbate
Sodium Benzoate


These Succulent Strawberry Pleasure Towelettes can be used anywhere on the body to leave a light, delicious scent and taste. The idea behind these wipes is to provide a little extra something to your foreplay or oral activities. The towelette can be used to apply the taste to the genitals or anywhere on the body that you wish.


The first time I used these wipes I put on some sexy lingerie, dabbed the wipe in various places over my body (neck, behind my ear, on my breasts and a line traveling down to my vagina) and invited my husband to find and follow the trail. It was a fun way to initiate some foreplay and make us both giggle a bit.

These wipes smell delicious! A bit sweeter than a fresh strawberry, but not overly sweet, they make me think of summer. The taste is not as strong as the smell but it did not disappoint. The flavor outlasted our foreplay and the scent stuck around for a bit longer than I expected, a bit longer than an hour.

I would definitely recommend these towelettes to anyone whose bodies may not agree with flavored lubricants or condoms. I, personally, have a really hard time with flavored lubes and these are a much better, and safer, alternative.


Lucky Me Lucky You has developed great way to add a bit of spice to your normal routine. They have developed a formula that uses no sugar, but natural based sweeteners, taking into consideration the risk of yeast infection. These towelettes should prove not to contribute to yeast infections, but as with any product, should there be any type of skin irritation, please discontinue use of the towelettes. Even though these wipes are sweet and succulent, they do not get sticky as they dry, like many flavored lubricants will.


I find that they are a bit more expensive than I would be willing to pay, but this may be due to the fact that my husband and I like to taste one another.


Lucky Me Lucky You is a company that is pretty new to the market. They currently product just one flavor of towelette, Succulent Strawberry, but they are busy at work on more flavors. They have wonderful customer service and a very informative FAQ page. The website has a great, easily-navigated layout and they take payment through Paypal, though you can use other forms of payment, making it super simple to buy from them.

**This product was provided by Lucky Me Lucky You free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.**

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

TMI Tuesday: Navigating Sex

Navigating Sex

1. Answer Yes or No:
I Regret My First Kiss: No
I Miss My First Love: Sometimes, but not in a romantic way.
I Married My First Love: No
I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me: Haven't we all?
2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
I am monogamous. 
3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
B. If I'm not in the mood for sex but he is, I will trade either a massage or his attempts to turn me on. When he succeeds, he gets laid. He always succeeds ;)
4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?
No. He likes to watch, but I prefer to masturbate alone.
5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner
D. All of the Above! We have been experimenting a lot lately, and I got some great new costumes and bondage gear I am going to surprise him with for our anniversary, but we usually talk about adding new things before I spring them on him in the heat of the moment.
Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe.
My best masturbationg experience was probably when I realized I could make myself squirt. I was watching porn and playing with a dildo and accidentally got my laptop wet. It was super exciting for me and I couldn't wait to teach hubby how to make me squirt!
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we'll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Divine Interventions: God's Immaculate Rod

Before we get into this post, I need to include a bit of a warning... Divine Interventions designs and produces sex toys crafted after religious icons. If you happen to be religious or are offended easily I suggest you find something else to read, as this is not a product for the feint of heart. I do not happen to subscribe to any particular religion and was not offended by them at all.


My God's Immaculate Rod came to me in a sealed plastic bag inside the box, with a sealed bottle of the Holy Water Lube and a communion napkin. Yes, a communion napkin. I loved that little touch! Also included in my package was a poster containing all of the Divine Interventions creations and a pamphlet on a little project they are working on right now. More on that later.


All of the products created by Divine Interventions are made of silicone. They offer God's Immaculate Rod in either purple or red on the website, but mine is a shimmery white color that glows in the dark. My God's Rod glows in the freaking dark, people. This is awesome. I discovered it purely by chance one night I had him on my nightstand. This is a hard, velvety silicone with little give and a bit of drag.

God's Immaculate Rod has a curve to it, with four nubs on the tip, almost in the shape of a face. For some reason those four nubs threw me back to vacation bible school and I immediately associated it with the three facets of the christian god (father, son, and holy spirit, for those that never had the opportunity to attend VBS). Don't ask me why because I don't have an answer for you. On each side of the curve are three ribs that also reminded me of the story of the creation of woman from man's rib. Man, this dildo really made me look at my religious upbringing in a whole new light...


The God's Immaculate Rod measures 6 1/2 inches from base to tip, with about 6 inches of that being insertable. The slightly flared base, itself, measures approximately 1 3/4 inches wide by 2 3/4 inches long. The Rod has a diameter of about 1 1/2 inches with each rib extending out about 1/8 inch on each side. This is not a particularly large toy, though beginners may find it a bit girthy at first.


God's Immaculate Rod is a dildo. There are no mechanics involved, unless you count the pivoting and levering of your elbow and wrist. The curved shape of this dildo means that it may work as a g-spot, or p-spot, stimulator, and the ribs on either side give this dildo a little more excitement. There is a slightly flared base on this dildo, but it is not particularly wide, so please use caution when using the Rod as an anal toy.


This is a dildo that met every one of my expectations. The firmness of the silicone gave me a hard enough surface to really assist in g-spotting, and felt awesome when rubbed along my labia and clitoris. The pronounced texture on the Rod was easily felt by my vaginal walls and g-spot, leading to incredibly satisfying orgasms. This is one of the simpler designs produced by Divine Interventions, but don't let the simplicity fool you. The feeling of this dildo inside of you will have you begging the gods for more! I would highly recommend these high-quality silicone products to anyone looking for something a bit different, or anyone with a great sense of humor. After all, where else can you find a product that allows you to say you got off using the Virgin Mary?


Silicone is super easy to clean. There are a multitude of options including: soap and water, commercial toy cleaner, boiling, a run through the dishwasher (detergent free), a 10% bleach solution, or a rub down with alcohol. It is a material that tends to collect lint and hair, so a rinse under water, prior to use, wouldn't hurt.


The Rod is made entirely of silicone, so only water based lubes should be used. This is where the Holy Water Lube comes in handy. This little bottle contains a completely vegan, paraben, glycerin, and DEA free, water based lubricant made with organic extracts. I found that the consistency, smell, and taste remind me of aloe vera gel. This is a formula that is safe to ingest, if you don't mind the taste.This is a medium density lube so it is a bit thicker than your typical silicone formula, but not as thick as a gel. I actually really liked this lube and would definitely recommend it to anyone that may have concerns about some of the ingredients in most water based lubricants. I plan to order another bottle of the Holy Water Lube next time I am in the market for some. I would not, however, recommend this lube for anyone who may be involved with a vampire, as the Holy Water Lube could cause them to be banished to the afterlife forever. We wouldn't want that, now would we?


I really love this dildo. The texture of the ribs and nubs combined with the curve in the shaft left me calling out  to god (no, he didn't answer me).


The only negatives I could come up with for this package was the taste of the lube, but lets be real, this isn't a lube that was designed to be devoured. Actually, as far as lubes go, this wasn't even a bad tasting non-flavored lube. There was no chemical aftertaste, but rather a grassy or herbal kind of taste.


Silicone toys should always be stored separately from the rest of your collection. I would suggest a small cloth or zip top style plastic storage bag for any Divine Interventions product. This may reduce the amount of lint attracted to your silicone toy, as well as protect the finish from being damaged.


Divine Interventions is an adult toy company that produces religious themed sex toys. This is not a company for those that are easily offended or have no sense of humor. They became most well known for their Baby Jesus Butt Plug, but produce such awesome toys as the Jackhammer Jesus, the Diving Nun, and the Bible Thumper, as well as a kneeling Buddha dildo and "Shiva" egg-shaped butt plug. For those a bit leary of such sacrilegious sex toys, Divine Interventions also produces a non-denominational line that features dildos with no religious iconization, including the Celtic, Stallion, Colt, and God's Immaculate Rod. Also available for purchase from the site is Divine Interventions specially formulated Holy Water Lube that is completely safe to use with your religious sex toys.

I not only laughed my ass off at the awesome designs that come from the lab at Divine Interventions, but I commend them for their audacity. There is just something about sticking religious iconography in me that really gets my juices flowing. This is such an awesome idea that I have no idea how it has never been done before, or why no one has copied their idea. I want to own the entire line!


I mentioned above that Divine Interventions sent me a pamphlet along with my God's immaculate Rod and Holy Water Lube. This pamphlet was a snippet of information on Inches for Charity, a "cockumentary" that focuses on the male fascination with penis size. Inches for Charity was set up to help provide funds to AIDS and children's organizations in South Africa. The idea is to sponsor one of the gentlemen that have lent their penises to this experiment, by pledging a certain amount for every inch or partial inch that the men gain while using penis enhancement products. They have provided each of the five men participating with a penis extension device, and will be measuring the before and after effects of using the devices. This is truly a fun way to contribute to a great cause, and to be honest, I cannot wait to see the results! Click any of the above links to take you to the Inches for Charity web page, and while you are visiting don't forget to donate to the cause!

Here is the trailer I snagged from the youtube page (it is also posted on the website):

**This product was provided by Divine Interventions free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.**

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Masturbation is Natural

In honor of May being Masturbation Month I thought I would share some fun facts about masturbation in nature. See, humans are not the only species to masturbate or engage in sexual activity for pleasure, and I wanted to take this opportunity to show you just how normal and natural masturbation really is.

Monkeys masturbate, and will also pleasure themselves orally.

Elephants pleasure themselves by rubbing against rough surfaces and by using their trunks. Elephant penises are shaped like an "S".

Porcupines have been observed not only masturbating, but also using objects, such as sticks, to rub against or ride.

Male African ground squirrels masturbate to ejaculation, and then consume their ejaculate.

Turtles will rub against rocks, bricks, or walls and emit a squeak-like sound of pleasure.

Walruses are very flexible and will pleasure themselves both manually and orally.

Ever see a bird rubbing its rear end on anything? Yup, birds masturbate too!

Male horses rub their penises against their stomachs for pleasure, while females will lift their tails and rub against trees and walls. Females will mastubate to orgasm and produce a type of ejaculate upon orgasm.

Dogs and cats masturbate. They will also show dominance by pleasuring themselves.

Moose can reach orgasm by rubbing their antlers against trees, and can reach orgasm as many as 50 times a day!

These are just a few examples, and I haven't begun to touch the odd sexuality of animals.

Masturbation is not only completely natural but it is also good for your health! Solo stimulation carries no risk of contracting an STD or pregnancy. The release of hormones associated with orgasm can increase your mood and help fight depression. Masturbation can also help boost the immune system, helping you fight that cold or flu. It is the healthiest way to explore your own sexuality, and a perfect way for you to figure out what you like and what you don't. Masturbation can also be used to relax yourself and ease away tension, which can help you sleep at night! Masturbation can help you achieve better, and more satisfying orgasms. Masturbation in males helps to cleanse the prostate and reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Women may find that masturbating while on her period can help ease the pain and discomfort of cramps and muscle tension.

With all these great "side effects" of masturbation, I challenge you to give me one good reason why you should not masturbate.... Don't worry, I'll wait....

Guy Having Orgasm

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

TMI Tuesday: Masturbation Month 2013

Masturbation Month 2013

1. My favorite place to masturbate is ________ ?
My bedroom and the bathroom. I particularly like to masturbate in my tub...
2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
Yes, I have. I was at the computer lab at a local library and got the urge to masturbate. So I did. I have also masturbated a few times in traffic in the front passenger seat of my car. I find it incredibly erotic and exciting. 
3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
I do. I like to have my husband use his hands or mouth or one of our toys to get me off, while I do the same to him. I also find it incredibly erotic to masturbate while he watches and masturbates to me. 
4. When was the last time you masturbated?
I just finished ;)
5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
I have, both over webcam for an ex boyfriend and I have also taped myself to surprise hubby with a little something.
6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Yes! I enjoy watching my hubby, and masturbation porn is one of the few types of porn I enjoy.
Bonus: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
I have filmed myself, however this video was made for my husbands private use. 
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, May 6, 2013

Knotty Wood Arts: Wooden Dildos


As the name implies, Knotty Wood Arts produces objects made of wood. My Spoon dildo is made of beautiful Figured Maple, named for the "figures" or distortions in the wood grain which result in a beautiful pattern in the wood. My particular piece is a light, almost blonde wood with darker brown, tiger-like stripes at one end, in addition to the natural grain, which runs nearly opposite the stripes. The wood has been sanded completely smooth and coated in a food grade finish to make it body safe.

The Knob is drastically different that my Spoon, being a dark English Walnut. It has a tapered end with ridges on the other.

Each of the adult products that are created at Knotty Wood Arts is sanded a minimum of 6 times, sealed, coated in 7-10 layers of food grade varnish, and buffed to to a glass-like finish.


Spoon measures a total of 10 inches long. It is dual ended with one end being a bit bigger. The smaller end and the majority of the shaft measures between 1 1/4 and 1 1/2" in diameter. The wider, spoon-shaped end  is about 2 inches in diameter.

The Knob is just 7 inches long with a taper on one end measuring 1" in diameter at the tip and ending in 3 bumps that are 1 1/2" in diameter, with 1 inch rests in between.


The Spoon is a dildo that can be used to g-spot stimulation. There are no working parts, seams, or texture, just a smooth, even dildo that is fantastic for thrusting. I have only used my Spoon vaginally, but I am sure that if care is taken it can be used anally. I say with care, because there is no flared end to keep it from going further than you may intend. The Knob, on the other hand, worked much better for me as an anal probe. It can be used vaginally or anally, depending on the sensations you are wanting.


I love the feel of wood inside of me and I love g-spot stimulation, and these products did not disappoint. Because the Spoon is curved on both ends, it can be used from either end for g-spot stimulation. I really like it when my toys can be used from either end, as it opens up the possibilities for use, and the Spoon really fit the bill. The light weight of the wood has kept me from experiencing any type of wrist fatigue and the length ensures that there is plenty of surface to hold.

I had a harder time with the Knob. It didn't do much for me vaginally, so I tried it as a plug. The tapered end is comfortable but I had a hard time keeping it in place. If the rest areas between the bumps were a bit bigger this would be a great plug.


Soap and water is the recommended way to clean your wooden toys. Boiling and using the dishwasher can degrade the finish and warp the wood, so if you need to sanitize your wooden toys, a 10% bleach solution or a quick swipe of alcohol should do the trick.


The finish on these wooden dildos is compatible with both water and silicone based lubricants. I do not use oil based lubes but I am sure that these dildos could handle the oil, just test a small spot on your dildo to determine if there will be any staining or discoloration of the wood. There should be none, but better safe than sorry!


The Spoon was primarily designed by me and I am ecstatic with the way it turned out. The Knob was a surprise included in my package that I was not expecting. Knotty Wood Arts will work with you to achieve your perfect pleasure toy, and they use reclaimed wood making these dildos truly eco-friendly. I cannot say enough about the customer service offered by this company. Mr. Knotty answered all of my questions in a very timely manner and worked closely with me to ensure I received a product that I loved. I am already thinking of designs for my next Knotty Wood Arts dildo!


I was hard pressed to find a negative in these toys. I do wish that the rests on the Knob were a bit bigger, but that may just be personal preference. In all, they are sanded smooth as a babies bum, coated in multiple layers of finish, and the Spoon was made to my specifications. I really have nothing negative to say about Knotty Wood Arts or the beautiful products they create.


Knotty Wood Arts includes a free bag with their purchases. Mine are made of a thick fleece material in a burgundy color. Your wooden toys should be stored in a bag to protect the finish from being damaged by anything else that may be residing in your toy box.


I have to share my favorite aspect of these dildos: They are made of recycled wood! The Spoon was carved from scraps of wood left over from another artist that makes civil war era weapons for re-enactments. The Knob is carved from a log that was scavenged from the clean-up after Hurricane Katrina. I absolutely love that Knotty Wood Arts has found a way to take these unwanted pieces of wood and create beautiful creations designed to give you pleasure. This is a truly eco-friendly sex toy, as no trees had to lose their lives! Ok, the tree had to die eventually, but at least the scraps were not wasted but turned into someones new best friend.


I found Knotty Wood Arts on Etsy. The shop can be found here. Last I checked there was nothing in the shop at the moment but you can take a look at some examples of his work in the sold folder found here. Mr. Knotty does accept custom orders, so if you have something in mind you can contact him through his store on Etsy or email him at

**This product was provided by Knotty Wood Arts free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.**

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

May: National Masturbation Month and the #OrgasmDiet

Today, my loves, is May 1st. Today marks the beginning of National Masturbation Month and the un-official start to the enjoyment of outdoor sexual escapades. 

Don't forget to excersize your wrists before partaking in any strenuous activities ;)

May also happens to be a stellar time to begin a new diet... The Orgasm Diet. Now, this is a diet that I feel anyone can follow. Basically the idea is to eat your three (or five, or whatever you need) balanced meals a day but replace snacks and unhealthy cravings with orgasms. For example: It's ten o'clock at night. I'm craving that homemade chocolate chip cookie that is whispering my name from the kitchen. Instead, I walk to my bedroom, grab my Salsa, and achieve orgasm. I no longer crave the chocolate chip cookie, now I just want a glass of water and to drag my husband into bed with me. I just saved myself unnecessary calories by avoiding the cookie, burned calories with an orgasm, and swapped the taste for chocolate for a taste of my man. Win-win in my book. Now, sit back and think about how many unnecessary calories you can avoid and how much your libedo could be rejuvenized. 

Feel free to take part in the Orgasm Diet and tweet your progress using #OrgasmDiet and feel free to post here and let me know how you are doing. Now, to find my scale...


Monday, April 29, 2013

TMI Tuesday: The Amateur Detective

The Amateur Detective


1) Did you ever find someone else’s stash of sex toys, lubes, etc.?

I was one of those nosy, pain-in-the-ass teenagers and went through my parents stuff. Once upon a time... I came across my parents play drawer. Let's just say that it changed my perception of them to a degree.

2) Did you ever search someone else’s computer to determine their porn habits? Were you ever the object of such a search?

I have had several friends that would look for the strangest or kinkiest porn we could find and shared it with one another, but I have never purposely searched someone else's computer for their porn habits. I have looked to see some of the porn vids my husband occasionally watches but I don't do it in a nosy way. Is there any way to make that sound believable? I look out of curiosity to see his preferences for future surprise porn purchases. And that is the honest to heavens truth! (Now I sound worse for being so protective...)

3) Did you ever investigate to see if two people were getting it on?

When I was younger I would check on my friends if there was noise, but mostly I stayed away.

4) Did you ever look for naughty pictures on someone else’s phone?

Yes. I have ex's that cheated on me and others that have had photos of their ex's still on their phones. I don't just pick up someone else's phone and start going through their personal stuff.

5) Were you ever involved with an investigation (formal or informal) into whether someone was cheating on his/her lover?

I don't believe so. I have given friends a heads-up if I saw something out of the ordinary with their significant other, but I have never gone out of my way to investigate a situation.

Bonus: Do you have a secret online identity so that you can find a secret lover?

No. I write under a pen-name but I am in a monogamous relationship and not interested in finding a lover.

Head over to TMI Tuesday Blog to read more answers!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

LSG Touch: Mia Egg & Lucy Necklace


These beautiful natural stone products both arrived to me in matching embroidered bags, encased together in a sheer bag. Attached was a lovely card with the LSG Touch logo and contact information. Also included in my box was a pamphlet on how to use and care for these products.


Mia is an egg-shaped kegel tool made of south china jade. In this instance the term south china jade refers to the mineral Nephrite, which is a non-porous, extremely durable, but easily scratched natural stone. The pure, natural stones are created free of any chemical or synthetic substances, so these are natural as natural gets! Mia is strung with an extremely strong, braided string and glass beads. The string on each Mia is tested with a 7 pound pull before being approved for use. Mia is completely smooth with no noticeable drag, smell, or taste.

Lucy is an open ended necklace with round, thai turquoise pendants on either end. She is strung with the same strong, braided string as Mia, with glass bead accents. The pendants are very smooth to the touch.


My Mia measures 2 1/4 inches long, with a diameter of 1 1/4" at the thickest and about 1/2" at the smallest part of the taper. The string is 5 inches long and there are 32 beads strung along the length.

Lucy is a full 42 1/2 inches from end to end. The stone pendants both have diameters of 1 1/2", and the string between them is 39 1/2" with alternating bead sizes and colors . This is plenty of room to wrap it as a choker or find some other interesting way to wear Lucy.


Mia is a natural stone kegel tool. A kegel is the practise of contracting and relaxing the muscles of the pelvic floor. These are the same muscles used to stop and start the flow of urine. Kegeling can be used to reduce urinary incontinence and to increase the length and intensity of orgasms.

Lucy is designed as a breast stimulator. The pendants hang in a way to stimulate blood flow in the breast tissue. The pendants can also be used as a part of foreplay, or as a tool while performing your monthly breast exam.


I have been using Mia for a little over a month and have already noticed a difference in the strength of my kegels. I cannot honestly say that I have noticed any difference in the intensity of my orgasms, but that will be different for everyone. Mia is super easy to pop in and she can be worn anywhere while doing anything. My favorite time to use Mia is when I am going about my house chores. The string makes it very easy to remove and a quick wash under the faucet and she is ready for the next time.

Lucy is not only a beautiful piece of jewelry, but it is also functional. I have used this necklace during my monthly breast exam, as a statement accessory, and also as a general massage tool. A little bit of massage oil and these pendants slip and slide across the skin with no problem. While wearing Lucy as jewelry, the pendants gently rub across the nipple and breast in a subtly erotic way that kept my mind ever-so-slightly in the gutter all day. It was a fun little secret I kept all to myself.


DO NOT BOIL THESE PRODUCTS. Mia and Lucy can both be cleaned using a mild antibacterial soap and warm water and sanitized by wiping it down with alcohol. Boiling the natural stone can irreparably damage these products.


I would suggest only using water based lubes when needed. Too much lubrication on Mia will cause her to be incredibly difficult to keep in place. I personally have not tested any type of lubricants on these products because I do not plan to use them. I have used massage oil on my Lucy and have noticed no problems, but I cannot guarantee the same results for anyone else. These are natural materials and it would be wise to research any interactions before using a new product on them.


Mia is an excellent tool for kegel exercise, and Lucy has multiple potential uses. These are completely natural products with no chemical or thermal alteration, and no synthetic polish of any kind. These products are as close to nature as you can get. Each product also comes with a matching embroidered storage bag.


The jade that Mia is made of is easily scratched, although difficult to break. This can be solved by storing it in the included storage bag when not in use.


LSG Touch includes a beautiful, matching embroidered bag with each of the products sent out. They are closed by a simple drawstring, and they stay securely closed. This makes both Lucy and Mia very travle friendly. They can be carted along in your purse, left out on your nightstand, or tossed in your luggage without worrying about them being damaged in any way.


I have been doing kegels since puberty, but they became very important to me after I gave birth. During labor I experienced a uterine prolapse. Basically, my uterus exited my body with the afterbirth, and had to be repositioned inside of my body. This is a potentially life-threatening birth complication. I have had no issues since childbirth, and I attribute that, in part, to my continuing to perform kegel exercises  Using a tool, such as Mia, really helps me to focus on that part of my workout, and also provides a bit of a weight system for me to train my muscles. I would highly suggest a product such as the Mia to anyone, but especially those that may have some form of urinary incontinence.


LSG Touch is run by the wonderful Lisa Shelly Gabriel. She sells natural products designed to increase your sexual satisfaction, and infuses each of her creations with good, positive energy. She chooses distinctly natural materials and avoids any chemical or synthetic products to keep each item as natural as possible. Lisa has a variety of products including several sizes of Mia kegel egg, different styles of the Lucy breast massaging necklace, erotic jewelry, as well as unique, handmade terracotta dildos. Head on over to her website or Etsy shop and take a look at what she has to offer.

**This product was provided by LSG Touch free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This is in compliance with FTC guidelines.**